The harsh reality of Soulmate connections

I blame Disney for filling my head with unrealistic hopes. I expected my soulmate to sweep me off my feet. I expected a knight in shinning armour, to fall in love at first sight and to live happily ever after. My first encounter with my soulmate was one of the most disturbing experiences in my long history of dating. He was mean, aggressive and exceptionally arrogant. A huge pity considering how handsome and well dressed he was. After 2 hours of mutual interrogation over 1 1/2 cocktails we were itching to part ways. Before I could make a run for the nearest exit, he pulled me in for a long and hard kiss. I was bubbling with fury inside. And yet I was so inexplicably drawn to this gorgeous and sweet smelling creature. And so we kissed. Time ceased to exist. Surrounding noise drowned out by the blood now swirling in my head. I broke free for air, muttered "see you later" and ran for my tube. Confused by the whole experience I swore to myself that I would never see that man again.

The next day I received an invitation to join him and some friends for dinner. I accepted with the twisted view that this was potentially a golden opportunity. I had the expectation that he would have handsome (and more charming) friends. It was a rather devious move on my part. However I was decidedly annoyed by his unsavoury comments towards me from the previous evening. Ergo my reluctance to have another round of tonsil tennis. As fate would have it, his friends bailed on him and it was to be another one on one date. Being far too polite to follow suit, I went ahead whilst promising myself that that would be the last time I'd have to deal with him.

That evening I saw a more mellow and easy going man. More conversational and less confrontational, it was easier to actually like him. Inevitably we found ourselves kissing again and I kidded myself on that it was to be the very last kiss.

So far we're just a few days shy of our one year anniversary. It took us months to recognise that we were indeed soulmates and yet we still resist this connection to a degree. I was always skeptical of so called "soulmate" connections until I met him. He was nowhere near as spiritual and yet he was telepathic. We shared childhood experiences and traumas, similar health struggles, immediate sexual compatibility and near identical hang ups. We were synchronised. We deeply understood each other. Both were free spirits but capable of spending 24 hours, 7 days a week in each other's company. I can feel his emotions, almost hear his every thoughts, inner struggles and doubts. We've both rejected each other many times over and yet cannot bear to end the relationship with equal intensity. So many conflicting emotions. Wanting to run away from him only realising that I am merely trying to run away from myself.

Soulmates are the other half of your soul. In other words, they are a part of you, a mirror image of yourself. Blissful love cannot flow through each of you until you have both resolved your own issues. And so the work on myself continues.

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