Trust issues in relationships

We've all been there at some point in our lives. They say trust takes time to build but mere moments to destroy. I was broken hearted when I found clear evidence of a lover's betrayal - on our second year anniversary. I felt dazed, angry and sick to my stomach. It was as though he stabbed me right in the heart.

How could he do this to me? What have I done to deserve this?

I kept on asking, begging and pleading for answers but I received none. I blamed him. And when I couldn't bear being disappointment or angry anymore, I ended up blaming myself. Fast forward some years later and BAM, there I was again being cheated on. Little did I understand how much power my thoughts and feelings were carrying. I had attracted these horrifying moments in my life! It was a hard pill to swallow, especially as an enthusiast of "positive thinking". Why did bad things keep happening to me?

How? I was in denial. Positive thinking is just that, positive THINKING. It is not the same as positive feeling. The mind may be fooled but the body seldom lies. Deep inside I held a belief of unworthiness. Deep inside I felt unlovable. Deep inside I trusted no one. How on earth did I acquire such awful beliefs? I look back on my childhood and suddenly it all made sense. These beliefs I carried were from emotional injuries long ago. 

As infants we were born to love unconditionally. However in this world we've all endured some degree of emotional trauma. We learned that love was conditional, based on us behaving in a certain way. And when we didn't conform, we were punished. We have been incorrectly programed to believe that love needs to be earned, deserved.

I trusted my parents, my guardians with my heart and they disappointed me. Such emotional scars run deep and naturally, every time we open our heart to someone, these feelings and fears will be triggered. I do not blame my parents for what they did, for they too are products of emotional injuries. I learned that it is important to take ownership of our feelings - not to apportion the blame. We cannot blame others for hurting us and neither should we blame ourselves. The law of attraction is merely presenting a mirror of what's really within you. It is not there to punish you but to serve as a reminder of some feelings and beliefs trapped inside you. 

With sincere emotional clearing you will find that your law of attraction will change and quickly. You will no longer be a magnet for partners or events that make you mistrust. Your existing partner may even change his/her ways miraculously overnight just by you doing this clearing alone!

So have faith, you are not cursed or doomed to be in unloving relationships. Honour your feelings. Experience them and then release them.

If you wish to explore this personal matter further, please see me for a friendly personal consultation.

Wishing you love and happiness,

Sophie x

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My story: Hated from birth and my journey to enlightenment

Hello world,

Welcome to my blog. I decided to create this page to reach lovely people who are secretly struggling with life. Life is hard and it can truly suck at times. I'm no Debbie downer but I can get real. I've practiced the Secret and whilst I saw some modest gains, I noticed some pot holes in the whole ideology. I've tried the whole "fake it until you make it" and frankly felt nothing but like a dirty fraud inside. How stressful it is for society to EXPECT us to be happy and perfect all the time. People ask me how I am and I still feel pressured to lie. How could I pretend that everything was ok when I was feeling depressed and anxious inside? Little did I know that my true feelings would become my greatest gift.

I've finally made peace with the fact that my life was terrible pretty much from the start and it's time to share my story.

My childhood was far from picture perfect. I am told that I was born late, heavy and difficult. I was an unwanted child and by the time my mother discovered she was pregnant it was too late for an abortion. She desperately wanted a son and I felt hated for being a girl. My upbringing was full of sickness, eating disorders, violence, abuse, abandonment, fear and depression. Often times the pain of her rejection led me to suicide attempts. I felt isolated and as if a dark cloud haunted me everywhere. I shied away from people because I seriously believed I was cursed. When I finally reached the end of my rope, I fled to London with little more than £600 to my name and no job. At 21, I followed my instincts, pushed through the fear and trusted that I had the power to transform my life.

9 years have since past and whilst I've made many mistakes (and deviated from my path) I gradually saw my deepest wishes unfold. I have now discovered that there is more to life than getting the dream job or perfect life companion, it's about having an honest and loving relationship with yourself. 

Despite everything, you hold the key to your own destiny. And I would be honoured to help you on your journey.

Much love,

Sophie x

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